Thriving in Long Distance Relationships

It can be hard to deal with any kind of relationship but if you find yourself in a long-distance relationship it can come with a lot of insecurities and questions. You might wonder if being in this kind of relationship is even worth it or if it will work out in the end.

You might wonder if there are people that have ever been able to keep a long-distance relationship working but the truth is, even when they have made mistakes, they have learned how to make these kinds of relationships work over time.

Make sure that you make an action plan to get your relationship to thrive! Doing this means that you are learning to connect emotionally and even through your struggles, you fight and survive. Being in this kind of relationship for a long period of time can prove to you how successful it can be.

Can Long Distance Relationships Work?

Being in a long-distance relationship can work and it actually can have perks. It can show you how to communicate better and how to make emotional connections. It can also show you how to be independent while you learn to stay close with the person you love.

A long-distance relationship can feel like it has lasted forever even when it has only been a few months but by trying to make your relationship better you can grow in yourself as well.

Thriving in a Long-Distance Relationship

Here are some ideas to make your long-distance relationship thrive!

• Focus on the Relationship

Even if you’ve had a hard day or a hard week, focusing on your relationship can keep you moving forward. Make a plan with your partner and get yourself excited about seeing them. If you are planning a holiday together or even just a weekend visit, you will see that you have something exciting to look forward to.

Set short-term goals with your long-distance partner so that you can see each other often.

• Know You Will Be Together Again

Even though life is busy with work, school, family, and other things, know that in time, you will be with your partner again. Even when things feel hopeless, you can set a plan for the future. Make sure that you communicate with your partner as often as you can through email, texts, video calling and other ways that you can show them that you are choosing to be with them despite the distance.

• Accept the Silence

There will be times that you will have to go for periods of time without hearing from your long-distance partner. Even though this might feel scary for long-distance relationships, silence is a natural thing, and it doesn’t mean that something is wrong. Instead of seeing silence as a problem, try to accept and be okay with it. Here is how to practice this tip:

• • On a video call, sit silently for a moment.
  • Look at your partner and really notice them.
  • Let your body feel whatever it is feeling and notice your sensations and emotions.
  • Notice how you feel when you are on the video with them.

Even though silence can be strange sometimes, this kind of silence can open up a place between you and your partner and can help you to be more centered on them and more relaxed in the relationship. This is called “eye-gazing,” and it can give you the opportunity to connect with each other without speaking.

Studies have even shown that this can increase the love bonding hormone of oxytocin which can make you feel closer to that person even when you’re at a distance.

• Communicate Well

Communication is key in any relationship and its especially important when you’re in a long-distance relationship. Communicating is more than talking and the way that you communicate is just as important.

One of the easiest ways to be able to have a conversation that is valuable is to ask the right questions:

• • Instead of saying, “How has your day been?” Go deeper and say, “What is the best thing that you got to do today? Why?”
  • Say: “What has been on your mind?”

As you ask your questions, make sure that you are trying your best to try and understand your partner and what they love and what they are struggling with. This can open up your line of communication drastically.

• Video Calling

One problem that many long-distance couples make is that they talk each day. Being connected is important but it can cause there to be too much pressure. There might be times that you or your partner just need to have a day by yourself, and you have to learn how to handle your communication in this type of relationship the right way.

Of course, some people love to communicate each day and if you are someone that does then this is a good thing as long as your partner is on the same page. Communicating will depend on where you live and where your partner lives, what kind of personality you have and your communication style.

Take the pressure off of talking to your partner and if you feel that you need to not answer a call or that you don’t want to talk that day, don’t. Make sure that when you do talk to your partner that you’re making it valuable. Giving yourself and your partner some space can help you to miss each other more and sometimes this is a healthy thing.

• Live Independently

This doesn’t mean that you are pretending to be single and having many partners but there are things that you can do as a person in a long-distance relationship that people that live in close proximity to their partners can’t always do. Here are some things that you can do independently while being in a long-distance relationship:

• • Hang out with your friends and family.
  • Embrace your hobbies.
  • Sleep anyway in the bed that you want.

These are some of the things that you get to do while being in a long-distance relationship. You can take that time as well and learn to live your best life and to take care of yourself. As you become stronger in yourself you can be more fulfilled in your relationship.

Knowing yourself and being individual means that you can help to make your relationship stronger in the future.

• Don’t Get Worried

Living like you’re single can make you worry that your partner is with someone else. Don’t be secure or jealous and make sure that you are learning to trust your partner. It is important to give your partner the benefit of the doubt.

If they don’t text you back or they don’t call you right back, it doesn’t mean that they have a new partner or that they want to break up. Be reasonable in what you expect and don’t get upset before you’ve had a chance to even think it through.

Be calm and keep your cool and know that sometimes things happen. Some people miss their calls because they took a nap, or they had to get something done. This is okay and there is no need to make it into a problem.

Worrying and being anxious over your relationship can cause problems. Make sure that if you are feeling any type of way that you talk to your partner and you let them know that you are feeling insecure. Be honest about what you are thinking and feeling, and this can build your intimacy with them.

• Share Everything

Emotional intimacy is important and doing small things can make you both stronger. Try to do things like drink coffee together on video chat on Sunday mornings or both of you watch the same movie on television. You can even call each other when you are making dinner, and you can create the same meal together.

Doing these things are exciting and they are important for long distance partners. They make you feel emotionally connected and close to each other. Text them often and tell them that you’re thinking about them and send lots of pictures. Make video calls and keep your partner excited to hear from you.

• Make Your Space About Them

Remind yourself that you have a partner by making your space about them. Keep one of their clothing items in your closet and keep their favorite cup on the kitchen counter. Put pictures in your home of them and times that you have been together.

Send your partner something in the mail that will remind them of you such as your perfume, a hair tie or something that you use often. This will keep them thinking about you.

• Know Your Love Language

It is important that you know your own love language and that you know your partners love language. There are five love languages that were written by Gary Chapman, and these are the ways that we show love:

• • Words of Affirmation.
  • Acts of Service.
  • Quality Time.
  • Gifts.
  • Physical Touch.

As you learn each other’s love language you will be able to make them feel validated and loved and they will do the same for you. If you’re partner is having a hard week, do whatever fits their love language. If they love gifts, send them something special in the mail such as a box of chocolates. If their love language is words of affirmation, text them something about how special they are to you. As you speak their love language you will see its like knowing their heart.

• Sexual Connection

If you are already intimate with your partner, you know that not being able to touch them, kiss them, hold them, and have sex with them will be hard. Make sure that you find ways to connect with them intimately. This might be hard since you aren’t together but there are things that you can do. Always remember to set boundaries and to be respectful.

Here are some things you can try:

• • Talk dirty to them by telling them what you would love to do in bed.
  • Send pictures or videos of yourself from naked to modest, whatever makes you happy.
  • Touch yourself while you’re talking to them.
  • Leave them a message of you touching yourself and orgasming.
  • Fantasize about your partner while you are pleasuring yourself.
  • Share links of things that turn them on.
  • Put on sexy music and give them a dance show.
  • Put on a webcam so they can watch you while you shower or bath.
  • Read fiction that is erotic.
  • Tell your partner what turns you on.

Make sure that the videos and pictures that you are sending are for your partner only. You need to make sure that you set boundaries for how they will keep the videos that you send. Make sure that you’re over 18 years of age before you do any of this.

• Have Boundaries

Make sure that you set certain boundaries such as:

• • If you are in a monogamous relationship or if its open.
  • Know what you want.
  • Make sure that you’re on the same page.
  • Ask questions and set rules on flirting and what cheating is.
  • Be honest and open all the time.

These can be hard things to talk about but when you do you will feel more secure.

• There Will Be Problems

Everyone will have problems here and there in a relationship. Sometimes when you are in a long-distance relationship the problems can get out of control quickly. Make sure that you are talking about what you are feeling and that you are in sync with each other.

Sometimes it can be hard to communicate with someone and when things get awkward, you need to try to understand what you’re both talking about and work through anything uncomfortable. If you are having a hard time communicating, try again the next day.

When you feel that you aren’t connected, try to deal with it right away and know that problems don’t mean that the relationship is over.

• Be Intentional

It is important to be intentional in any relationship, especially long-distance ones. You can be successful in any relationship as long as you make plans and you set intentions. Set ideas on what you want with your partner and what you plan the future to look like.

Figure out what you desire and focus on what you have. Talk about things that matter to you such as:

• • Morals and values.
  • Dreams.
  • Future ideas.
  • Creating goals in life.
  • Why the relationship matters.

Having these kinds of relationships can make you more intentional with each other. To be successful, create conversation that will meet your needs and the needs of your partner.